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Russia and Russians

7 May 2010, 1:49 am

Russian people do not have a plan of action … Any plan is a failure by default.

Russian reading instruction manual only when somthing gets broken.

Do not afraid of Russian tanks as much as their drunken crew.

How to split a 0.8 liter bottle of vodka between 3 people?  Poor each man 100ml, and the problem reduces to the model. (500ml is a most commonly divided into 3 equal parts)

Two state of cleanliness in Russia: 1) all the dirt is frozen, 2) all dirt is dry.

Children from the village Yaskovich knew that they will become alcoholics within their native farm, but just in case, wanted to be astronauts ….

Ass for Russians is a multifunctional body part: it is thinking, it is looking for an adventure, and it is full of shit when Russians feel bad

It is only in Russia, the salt grain may be larger than the holes in the salt pot.

In kindergarten finally turn on hot water. It is not food, of course, but it is better than nothing.

Looking at last week’s film “Irony of Fate or Enjoy Your Bath” (a very popular New Year movie), half of Russians instinctively selebrated the New Year.
 
Ask a friend the following questions: Winnie the Pooh – a pig ora wild boar? And enjoy …. 90% answer – a pig, although the correct answer – a bear.
 
It turns out that between Friday and Monday there are two more days!
 
Only we have the vast majority of the population constantly looking depressed.
 
Russia has three degrees of cold:
  1. – It’s cold!
  2. – It’s cold, shit!
  3. – Blyaaaaa, how cold!
 
Your right to your own opinion still does not oblige me to listen to your nonsense.
 
Exam. Apparently upset student asks:
 - Should I wnight a rumber?
Prof: – night if it is going to help …
 
Happiness is when you have everything you wanted, but you are still at large.

Winter. A farmer, swearing left and right, is pushing dirt with own cart … ( a part of the poem)
 
When the tghe goverment wants something from you, it calls itself the homeland.
 
The government of Egypt and Turkey demand that Russian tourists were photographed on a passport drunken …
 
There is such a profession – to defend itself from the motherland.

Filed under Phrases.
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Jewish tunes

6 May 2010, 12:12 am

By Alexander Sitkin

  1. When the Jews finally reached the promised land, no one expected them
  2. The Jewish people was the first who get the rights to be God’s chosen nation
  3. For nearly 2000 years, Jews are blamed that Judas was a Jew. Why, then, they are not recognised for the other 11 apostols, including Jesus, were Jewish?
  4. He was so religeous that wared two kipas.
  5. Common Jewish habit is always objecting himself.
  6. Half-Jew is he one whose wife is Jewish.
  7. There is no any bad situation whren Jews are not to blame.
  8. The Jewish paradox: the people who recognizes no authority have came to the idea of superior authority.
  9. The Jews came to the idea of one God, probably because it was expensive to worship many.
  10. There is no Jewish question for me. For me, there is only a Jewish response.
  11. I’m half Jewish and the other half is also Jewish. With Jews you never know what would be the sum of two halves.
  12. Many Jews prefer small government, because ever one of them knows how to govern best. The only problem is how to reconcile their own opinions.
Filed under Jewish tunes.
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Proverbs (English & Russian)

5 May 2010, 11:39 pm
  • A bad compromise is better than a good lawsuit.   Худой мир лучше доброй ссоры. 
  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.   Птица в руках стоит двух в кустах. 
  • A bully is always a coward.   Задира всегда трус (Молодец среди овец, а на молодца и сам овца). 
  • A burden of one’s choice is not felt.   Своя ноша не тянет. 
  • A castle that parleys is half gotten.   Коготок увяз – всей птичке пропасть. 
  • A cat may look at a king.   Кошка может смотреть на короля (Вольно псу и на владыку брехать). 
  • A cock is valiant on his own dunghill.   Петух храбр на своей навозной куче (Всяк кулик на своем болоте велик). 
  • A cursed cow has short horns.   Бодливой корове Бог рог не даёт. 
  • A drop of honey catches more flies than a hogshed of vinegar.   На каплю меда можно поймать больше мух, чем на бочку уксуса. 
  • A fool and his money are soon parted.   Дурак быстро расстается со своими деньгами (У дурака в горсти дыра). 
  • A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man can answer in seven years.   Дурак может за час задать больше вопросов, чем умный ответит за семь лет. 
  • A friend in need is a friend indeed.   Истинный друг познается в беде. 
  • A good anval does not fear the hammer.   Хорошая наковальня не боится молота. 
  • A good husband should be deaf and a good wife should be blind.   Хороший муж должен быть глухим, а хорошая жена слепой. 
  • A good name is better than riches.   Доброе имя лучше богатства. 
  • A guilty conscience is a self-accuser.   Нечистая совесть спать не дает. 
  • A living dog is better than а dead lion.   Живая собака лучше мертвого льва (Лучше голубь в тарелке, чем глухарь на току). 
  • A man can die but once.   Человек может умереть только один раз (Двум смертям не бывать, а одной не миновать). 
  • A man is as old as he feels, and a woman as old as she looks.   Мужчине столько лет, на сколько он себя чувствует, а женщине – на сколько она выглядит. 
  • A man is known by the company he keeps.   Скажи мне, кто твой друг, и я скажу, кто ты. 
  • A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.   Туманное утро еще не означает облачного дня. 
  • A sound mind in a sound body.   В здоровом теле здоровый дух 
  • A wonder lasts but nine days.   Чудо длится только девять дней (Все приедается). 
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder.   Разлука заставляет сердце любить сильнее. 
  • Accidents will happen in the best regulated families.   Скандалы случаются и в лучших семьях. 
  • Actions speak louder than words.   Не по словам судят, а по делам. 
  • All bread is not baked in one oven.   Хлеб печется в разных печах (Люди разные бывают). 
  • All is not gold that glitters.   Не все золото, что блестит. 
  • All married women are not wives.   He все замужние женщины – жены. 
  • All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.   Одна только работа без забав превращает Джека в тупого ребенка (Мешай дело с бездельем, проживешь век с весельем). 
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away.   По яблоку в день – и доктор не нужен (Лук от семи недуг). 
  • An idle brain is the devil’s workshop.   В праздном мозгу находит себе дело дьявол. 
  • An old dog will learn no new tricks.   Старая собака не научится новым трюкам (Старого учить – что мертвого лечить). 
  • Appearances are deceptive.   Внешность обманчива. 
  • Barking dogs seldom bite.   Лающие собаки редко кусаются (Кто много грозит, тот мало вредит). 
  • Beauty is but skin deep.   Красота обманчива. 
  • Beauty is in the eye of the gazer.   Красота заключена в глазах смотрящего. 
  • Beggars must be no choosers.   Нищему не приходится выбирать. 
  • Better bend than break.   Лучше согнуться, чем сломаться. 
  • Between friends all is common.   У друзей все общее. 
  • Birds of a feather flock together.   Одного поля ягода. Рыбак рыбака видит издалека. Яблоко от яблони недалеко падает. 
  • Brandishing fists after the fight never proves anyone’s might.   После драки кулаками не машут. 
  • Business before pleasure.   Сначала дело, а потом удовольствия (Кончил дело – гуляй смело). 
  • Children are poor man’s riches.   Дети – богатство бедняка. 
  • Constant dropping wears away a stone.   Капля за каплей камень точат. 
  • Creditors have better memories than debtors.   У кредиторов память лучше, чем у должников. 
  • Discretion is the better part of valour.   Осторожность – лучшая часть доблести (Береженого бог бережет). 
  • Don’t cry out before you are hurt.   Не кричи, пока тебе не сделали больно (Не реви раньше смерти). 
  • Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.   Дареному коню в зубы не смотрят. 
  • Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.   Не складывай все яйца в одну корзину (Не ставьте все на одну карту). 
  • Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs.   Не учи свою бабушку как яйца высасывать (Яйца курицу не учат). 
  • Don’t trouble troubles till troubles trouble you.   Не тревожь беду, пока беда не потревожит тебя. 
  • East or west home is best.   Восток или запад, дома лучше всего (В гостях хорошо, а дома лучше). 
  • Every bullet has its billet.   У каждой пули своя цель (Чему быть, того не миновать). 
  • Every cloud has a silver lining.   У каждого облака есть серебряная прокладка (Нет худа без добра). 
  • Every dog has his day.   У каждой собаки есть свой день (Будет и на нашей улице праздник). 
  • Every man has his faults.   У каждого человека есть свои недостатки. 
  • Facts are stubborn.   Факты – упрямая вещь. 
  • Fine feathers birds.   В красивом оперении и птицы становятся красивыми. 
  • Fine words butter no parsnips.   Красивыми словами пастернак не помаслишь (Соловья баснями не кормят). 
  • First catch your hare, then cook him.   Сначала поймай зайца, а потом будешь из него блюда готовить (Не говори гоп, пока не перепрыгнешь). 
  • Fish begins to stink at the head.   Рыба с головы гниет. 
  • Forewarned is forearmed.   Предостереженный – значит вооруженный (Предупреждение – то же бережение). 
  • Friendship cannot stand always on one side.   Дружба должна быть взаимной. 
  • Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth.   Обжора – это человек, который роет себе могилу собственными зубами. 
  • God helps those who help themselves.   Бог помогает тому, кто помогает себе. 
  • God is God but don’t be a clod.   На бога надейся, а сам не плошай. 
  • Gratitude is the heart’s memory.   Благодарность – память сердца. 
  • Gray hair is sign of age, not of wisdom.   Седые волосы – признак возраста, а не мудрости. 
  • Great cry little wool.   Крику много, а шерсти мало (Много шума из ничего). 
  • Half a loaf is better than no bread.   Половина буханки лучше, чем совсем без хлеба. 
  • Handsome is as handsome does.   Красив тот, кто красиво поступает (Не тот хорош, кто лицом пригож, а тот хорош, кто для дела гож). 
  • Hard words break no bones.   Жестокие слова костей не ломают (Брань на вороту не виснет). 
  • He that is afraid of wounds, must not come near a battle.   Волков бояться – в лес не ходить. 
  • He that would eat the fruit, must climb the hill.   Без труда не вытащишь и рыбку из пруда. 
  • He who borrows sells his freedom.   Тот, кто берет взаймы, продает свою свободу. 
  • He who likes skiing downhill must enjoy skiing uphill.   Любишь кататься – люби и саночки возить. 
  • He who pays the piper calls the tune.   Тот, кто платит волынщику, заказывает мелодию. 
  • He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes.   Тот, кто приносит совесть в жертву своему честолюбию, сжигает картину, когда ему нужен пепел. 
  • Honesty is the best policy.   Честность – лучшая политика. 
  • Honour and profit lie not in one sack.   Честь и выгода вместе не живут. 
  • Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.   Надейся на лучшее, но приготовься к худшему. 
  • Husband and wife live the same life.   Муж и жена – одна сатана. 
  • If a man is destined to drown, he will drown even in a spoonful of water.   Если человеку суждено утонуть, он утонет даже в столовой ложке воды. 
  • If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.   В каждом свинстве можно найти кусочек ветчины. 
  • If the blind lead the blind both shall fall into the ditch.   Если слепой ведет слепого, оба свалятся в канаву (Слепой слепца водит, оба ни зги не видят). 
  • If the cap fits, wear it.   Если шапка впору – носите ее. 
  • If wishes were horses beggers might ride.   Если бы желания были лошадьми, то нищие могли бы ездить верхом (Если бы да кабы, да во рту росли грибы). 
  • If you try to please all you will please none.   Если стараться угодить всем, не угодишь никому. 
  • If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.   Если хочешь узнать, что представляет собой человек, дай ему власть. 
  • Ill news travels fast.   Плохие вести передаются быстро (Худые вести не лежат на месте). 
  • Ill-gotten goods never prosper.   Нечестно нажитое добро никогда не идет впрок (Краденое богатство исчезает, как лед тает). 
  • In every beginning think of the end.   Начиная всякое дело, подумай о том, чем оно может закончиться. 
  • It is easy to be wise after the event.   Легко быть умным после события (Задним умом крепок). 
  • It is never too late to mend.   Никогда не поздно исправиться. 
  • It is not work that kills men, it is worry.   He работа убивает людей, а забота. 
  • It is too late to lock the stable door when the horse is stolen.   После драки кулаками не машут. 
  • It is too late to lock the stable-door when the horse is stolen.   Когда лошадь украдена, поздно запирать двери конюшни (После драки кулаками не машут). 
  • It’s a poor heart that never rejoices.   Бедное то сердце, которое никогда не радуется (Кто умеет веселиться, тот горя не боится). 
  • It’s not a gay coat that makes the gentleman.   Не элегантный пиджак делает человека джентльменом. 
  • Least said, soonest mended.   Чем меньше сказано, тем быстрее исправлено. 
  • Let well alone.   Оставьте доброе в покое (От добра добра не ищут). 
  • Life is not all beer and skittles.   Жизнь – это не только пиво и кегли (Век тянется – всего достанется). 
  • Like father, like son.   Каков отец, таков и сын (Яблоко от яблони недалеко падает). 
  • Little wit in the mind makes much work for the feet.   Дурная голова ногам покоя не дает. 
  • Lost time is never found again.   Потерянное время не вернешь. 
  • Make hay while sun shines.   Готовь сено, пока солнце светит. 
  • Man does not live by bread alone.   Не хлебом единым жив человек. 
  • Man proposes, God disposes.   Человек предполагает, а бог располагает. 
  • Many a true word is spoken in jest.   Много правды говорится в шутку. 
  • Marriages are made in heaven.   Браки заключаются на небесах. 
  • Marry in haste and repent at leisure.   Женишься в спешке, потом долго раскаиваешься на досуге (Женишься на скорую руку да на долгую муку). 
  • Misfortunes never come singly.   Несчастья никогда не приходят поодиночке (Пришла беда – отворяй ворота). 
  • Money makes the mare go.   За деньги и кобыла работает (С деньгами на свете, так и дурак ездит в карете). 
  • Money spent on the brain, is never spent in vain.   Деньги, потраченные для развития ума, никогда не потрачены зря. 
  • Never swap horses crossing a stream.   На переправе коней не меняют. 
  • No bees no honey, no work no money.   Кто не работает, тот не ест. 
  • No fool like an old fool.   Нет такого дурака, как старый дурак (Седина в бороду, бес в ребро). 
  • No man is a hero to his valet.   Ни один человек не бывает героем в глазах своего слуги. 
  • No news is good news.   Отсутствие новостей – хорошая новость. 
  • No two minds think alike.   Сколько голов, столько умов. 
  • None but the brave deserve the fair.   Только храбрые достойны красавиц. 
  • Of two evils choose the least.   Из двух зол выбирай меньшее. 
  • Once bitten, twice shy.   Однажды укушенный – вдвойне пуглив (Пуганая ворона куста боится). 
  • One cannot put back the clock.   Нельзя перевести часы назад (Прошлого не воротишь). 
  • One cannot run with the hare and hunt with the hounds.   Нельзя удирать вместе с зайцем и в то же время охотиться на него вместе с гончими (Двум господам не служат). 
  • One man’s meat is another man’s poison.   To, что для одного человека пища, для другого – яд. 
  • Patience is a plaster for all sores.   Терпение – пластырь на все раны. 
  • Patience is power; with time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes silk.   Терпение – сила. Время и терпение превращают тутовый лист в шелк. 
  • People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.   Люди, которые живут в стеклянных домах, не должны бросаться камнями. 
  • Practice makes perfect.   Практика ведет к совершенству (Навык мастера ставит). 
  • Pride goes before a fall.   Гордыня предшествует падению (Дьявол гордился, да с неба свалился). 
  • Promise little, but do much.   Поменьше обещай, побольше делай. 
  • Sceptics are never deceived.   Скептика не обманешь. 
  • Seeing is believing.   Увидеть – значит поверить. 
  • Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get.   Раз мы не можем иметь то, что нам хочется, давайте хотеть то, что мы можем иметь. 
  • Spare the rod and spoil the child.   Пожалеешь розгу – испортишь дитя. 
  • Strike while the iron is hot.   Куй железо пока горячо. 
  • The absent are always in the wrong.   Отсутствующие всегда неправы. 
  • The appetite comes with eating.   Аппетит приходит во время еды. 
  • The chain is no stronger than its weakest link.   Цепь не крепче своего слабейшего звена (Где тонко, там и рвется). 
  • The course of true love never did run smooth.   Путь истинной любви никогда не бывал гладким. 
  • The exception proves the rule.   Исключение подтверждает правило. 
  • The face is the index of the mind.   Лицо – зеркало мыслей (Что в сердце варится, на лице не утаится). 
  • The girl looks fine but she isn’t mine.   Хороша Маша, да не наша. 
  • The leopard cannot change his spots.   Леопард не может сменить свои пятна (Черного кобеля не отмоешь добела). 
  • The man who lives only by hope will die with despair.   Тот, кто живет одними надеждами, умрет в отчаянии. 
  • The only real equality is in the cemetery.   Единственное место, где все действительно равны, – это кладбище. 
  • The proof of the pudding is in the eating.   Чтобы узнать, каков пудинг, нужно его отведать. 
  • The shoemaker makes a good shoe because he makes nothing else.   Башмачник делает хорошие башмаки, потому что больше он ничего не делает. 
  • The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.   Путь к сердцу мужчины лежит через его желудок. 
  • The weakest goes to the wall.   Самый слабый отходит к стенке (Смирну собаку и кочет побьет). 
  • The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose, or too old to have anything to gain.   Женщина, которая не скрывает свой возраст, или слишком молода и ей нечего терять, или слишком стара и ей нечего искать. 
  • There are two sides to every question.   У каждого вопроса есть две стороны (У каждой медали есть оборотная сторона). 
  • Time heals all wounds.   Время лечит все раны. 
  • To know everything is to know nothing.   Знать все – значит не знать ничего. 
  • Train hard fight easy.   Тяжело в ученье, легко в бою. 
  • Trust but verify.   Доверяй, но проверяй. 
  • Truth lies at the bottom of a well.   Истина прячется на дне колодца. 
  • Virtue is its own reward.   Добродетель – сама по себе награда. 
  • We must learn to forgive and forget.   Мы должны научиться прощать и забывать. 
  • Well begun is half done.   Хорошо начали – наполовину сделали. 
  • What cannot be cured must be endured.   Что нельзя исправить, то следует терпеть. 
  • What is bred in the bone will come out in the flesh.   To, что вскормлено в кости, проявится во плоти (Волк каждый год линяет, да обычай не меняет). 
  • What is worth doing at all is worth doing well.   Если уж стоит что-то делать, то делать надо хорошо. 
  • What the eye does not see the heart does not grieve over.   Чего глаз не видит, о том сердце не болит (С глаз долой – из сердца вон). 
  • What the fool does in the end, the wise man does in the beginning.   То, что дурак делает в конце, мудрый делает в начале. 
  • When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out at the window.   Когда бедность входит в дверь, любовь вылетает в окно (Худ Роман, когда пуст карман, хорош Мартын, когда есть алтын). 
  • When the cat is away, the mice will play.   Когда кошки нет, мыши резвятся (Кот из дома – мыши в пляс). 
  • Where there’s a will, there is a way.   Было бы желание, а возможность найдется. 
  • Whom Gods would destroy, they first make mad.   Кого боги хотят погубить, тех они сначала лишают рассудка. 
  • Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.   Тревожные мысли создают маленьким предметам большие тени. 
  • You can take the horse to the water, but you cannot make him drink.   Вы можете подвести лошадь к воде, но не сможете заставить ее пить (Силою не все возьмешь). 
  • You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.   Нельзя сделать шелковый кошелек из свиного уха. 
  • You never know what you can do till you try.   Никогда не знаешь, на что способен, пока в деле себя не испробуешь. 
  • Zeal is fit for wise men but is mostly found in fools.   Усердие нужно только умным, но оно встречается в основном у дураков. 
  • Не laughs best who laughs last.   Хорошо смеется тот, кто смеется последним. 
  • Не that loseth wealth, loseth much, he that loseth friends, loseth more: but he who loseth his spirit loseth all.   Тот, кто теряет богатство, теряет многое; тот, кто теряет друзей, теряет еще больше; но тот, кто теряет присутствие духа, – теряет все. 
Filed under Proverbs (English & Russian).
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Karl Kraus

5 May 2010, 12:47 am

A man’s jealousy is a social institution; a woman’s prostitution is an instinct.
 
Originally published in Beim Wort genommen (1955). Half-Truths and One-and-a-Half Truths, University of Chicago Press (1990) [Trans. by Harry Zohn]

Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust.

Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.

Morality and Criminal Justice “The Riehl Case” Die Fackel, November, 1906

Nationalism is the love which ties me to the blockheads of my country, to the insultors of my way of life, and to the desecrators of my language.

He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent.

The difference between psychiatrists and other mentally disturbed people is something like the relationship between concave and convex madness.

Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don’t come into the world.

Trans. by Harry Zohn, originally published in Beim Wort genommen (1955). Half-Truths and One-and-a-Half Truths, University of Chicago Press (1990)

One’s need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone. There must be empty chairs as well.

War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off;
next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off;
then, the satisfaction that he isn’t any better off;
and, finally, the surprise at everyone’s being worse off.

A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants.
 
A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart’s desire!

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.
 
A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.
 
An idea’s birth is legitimate if one has the feeling that one is catching oneself plagiarizing oneself.
 
Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children?
 
Christian morality prefers remorse to precede lust, and then lust not to follow.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.
 
Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former.
 
Curses on the law! Most of my fellow citizens are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions.
 
Democracy divides people into workers and loafers. It makes no provision for those who have no time to work.
 
Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone’s slave.
 
Do not learn more than you absolutely need to get through life.

Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.
 
Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.
 
Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust.
 
Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram.

He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent.

How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.

I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am.
 
I and life: The case was settled chivalrously. The opponents parted without having made up.

I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what I say, and I don’t say what it wants to hear.

I don’t like to meddle in my private affairs.
 
I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia
walk up to a polymath and open him up.
 
If the reporter has killed our imagination with his truth, he threatens our life with his lies.
 
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.

It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean.

It is the style of idealism to console itself for the loss of something old with the ability to gape at something new.
Jealousy is a dog’s bark which attracts thieves.

Journalist: a person without any ideas but with an ability to express them; a writer whose skill is improved by a deadline: the more time he has, the worse he writes.
 
Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write.

Justice is a whore that won’t let herself be stiffed, and collects the wages of shame even from the poor.

Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden.

Matrimony is the union of meanness and martyrdom.

Morality is a venerial disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.
 
My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious.
 
No ideas and the ability to express them – that’s a journalist.
 
Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy.
 
Scandal begins when the police put a stop to it.
 
Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.
 
Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.

Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don’t come into the world.
Sexuality poorly repressed unsettles some families; well repressed, it unsettles the whole world.
 
Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid.
 
Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.
 
Squeeze human nature into the straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear.
Stupidity is an elemental force for which no earthquake is a match.
 
The closer the look one takes at a word, the greater distance from which it looks back.

The mission of the press is to spread culture while destroying the attention span.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.
 
The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant.
 
There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything.
There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman’s shoe and has to settle for the whole woman.

To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all.
Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower.
 
When a man is treated like a beast, he says, ‘After all, I’m human.’ When he behaves like a beast, he says ‘After all, I’m only human.’
You would be surprised how hard it often is to translate an action into thought.

Filed under Karl Kraus, Writers.
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Words of Appreciation

12 February 2010, 2:38 am

Words of appreciation can sometimes come across as banal and trite.  After all, is there a more tired sentiment than a quickly scrawled “you are appreciated”?  Yet for employers and employees, businessmen and clients, family members and close friends, associates and lovers, expressing appreciation for everything a person means to you is absolutely necessary.  When you find yourself lost for words, try some of these words of appreciation from the heart.  They’re not all sentimental or sappy (though some are), but each phrase expresses something about that special relationship that lifts your heart and makes the day to day stresses that you face more manageable.  Take the time today to tell someone “I appreciate you.”  (from YourDictionary.com)

Casual Words of Appreciation

These phrases are appropriate for business relationships, casual friends, and acquaintances who have gone the extra mile for you.

  • I just wanted to let you know—the things you do for (me, the company, our group) do not go unnoticed.  You’re a necessary piece to this puzzle.  I appreciate your dedication and service, and I know others do too.
  • Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your commitment.  You are not only a valued member of this group, you’re a dear friend.  I can’t imagine working without you.
  • You’re the heart and soul of this team.  I appreciate your dedicated commitment.
  • I only wish to aspire to the things you’ve achieved.  Telling you that you’re “appreciated” does not do your service justice.  You’re the best!
  • You do such a great job!  Keep it up.
  • Let me encourage you today: you’re not only on the right track.  You set the course for the rest of us.  I appreciate you.
  • The difference you make is nothing short of legendary.
  • I can’t imagine the world without you.  I only know it would be a much different, much less comforting place.
  • God bless you for always being there to cheer and to guide.

 Appreciation Quotes

Try some of these special quotes from some of the world’s leading philosophers, actors, and businessmen to convey your deep appreciation for another person.

  • Frederick Koenig once mentioned that happiness comes not from getting something we lack, but from the recognition and appreciation of what we do have.  I agree—I don’t know what I’d do without you.
  •  “I would rather be able to appreciate things I can not have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.” – Elbert Hubbard
  • According to the Dalai Lama, the roots of goodness are in the soil of appreciation for goodness.  You’ve been too good to me, and it is deeply appreciated.
  • To truly appreciate life, we seek companionship.  Thank you for being my companion.  I appreciate you.
  • “Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the gratefully and appreciating heart.” – Henry Clay
  • Goethe said, “treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”  You’ve treated me as though I were capable of reaching the stars.  Because of you, I have.
  • When I read that Dickens said, “reflect upon your present blessings,” you came to mind.
  • Proust urged his readers be grateful to people who make them happy.  I am grateful to you.

Relationships

Do you want to tell that special someone they’re appreciated without saying “I love you”?  Try a few of these on for size.

  • “Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” – Voltaire
  • Your love and support will always be remembered, fondly in good times, and as encouragement in bad.
  • Someday I hope to give to you a fraction of all you’ve given me.
  • No words can express, no act of gratitude can relay, no gift can represent what your love and support have meant to me.  Please accept this note as an indicator of my heartfelt appreciation for everything you are.
  • I can’t imagine five minutes without you.  Thank God I’ve got the rest of my life to spend with you.
  • If I tried to tell you how much I appreciate you, I’d be talking the rest of my life.  I hope that, in some small way, you realize how much you’ve meant to me, and how truly I desire to give back to you.
  • You’ve bent over backwards for me.  Please let me repay you somehow, if only in a note telling you how much I appreciate your love and support.

 By Christy Rakoczy

Filed under Miscellanious, Words of Appreciation.
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Signs

12 February 2010, 2:24 am
  • If you drive a car and you have been strongly hit then get out of it exit and see:  if the hit is from behind then it mean the money is coming, if the hit is from the front then you start losing them.
  • If a husband opens the car door to his wife, it is either a new car or a new wife.
  • The large the tits the less remembered face.
  • If alcohol is hard to dring then expect it coming back!
  • If you cursing quietly, then you have a cold throat.
  • If again you gain 10 lb during last week, then this diet was advice to you by your best girlfriend.
  • Go to work is to money.
  • If the horse tells you that you are crazy, it means that you are.
  • The path to the refrigerator goes through through woman’s heart.
  • If you woke up with a girl you met yesterday and she doesn’t go away, then it is your wife.
  • If he looks straight into your eyes, then it’s a time to take care of your figure.
  • If you woke up fully dressed in the morning, it means that you will have a headache.
  • If the husband brings flowers for no reason, it means that the reason, actually, exists.
  • If you wake up in a good mood, it means that you didn’t wake up yet.
Filed under Phrases, Signs.
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Humorous Phrases with Meanings

9 February 2010, 2:48 am

By A.V.

  • Man’s snoring has been designed by nature to ensure that a woman is not too upset when her husband hasn’t come home tonight.
  • It is unclear why men try so hard to acquire hand and heart of a woman they hardly use afterwords.
  • If a man can  observe naked woman from an animate object, then he the artist.
  • If a man can observe an inanimate object from a naked woman, then he is her husband.
  • All men are buying into the fact that not all women are for sale.
  • Man is trying to bring a woman onto a pedestal as high as possible to take a look what is under her skirt. 
  • Malvina’s history  has proven again that a woman could easily fall in love with a man with a wooden head, but possessing the Golden Key.
  • Woman is always ready to share with the man his share, especially if her share is large enough.
  • Give a woman unlimited freedom and she will immediately reduce your.
  • Women’s ideal man is quite simple: he whould have a desire for undressing her and be capable of dressing her as well.
  • Few women know what they want, but even they usually don’t know why.
  • A woman can forgive a man everything… but his stupidity in how lucky he is because of her.
  • Woman gets upset by man in two instances: when he look at her only as an enemy, and when he looks at her only as a friend.
  • Woman inspires a man first, then rings him, and then pull down his wings.
  • While answering a specific question woman says not what she was asked, but what  she  only wants to say.
  • The hardest thing for a woman is block her ears when a man talks about expensive earrings he bought for her.
  • Mastery of women is skillfully hide her harpoon as Amur’s arrow.
  • Some women behave as if they were not made from the rib, but of the coccyx.
  • It is equally hard for a woman to undertalk, as to be undersilent.
  • Woman is a mystery that is covered with cloth.
  • Woman is amazing creature that has a birthday, but doen’t have a date of birth.
  • Woman manages to be unpredictable even in photos.
  • More exciting than female logic can only be her underware.
  • The geometry of  female body doesn’t require any proof.
  • Nothing makes a woman more atractive as a stupid girlfriend.

Additional collection:

1. No person shall bring us to our knees! We have been laying there, and we will continue lie!

2. To love vodka, freebies, revolution, and be an asshole is not enough to call yourself Russian.

3. Please allow me to take a course where I will learn how to increase my salary.

4. The first who shake hand is the one who has weaker nerves.

5. To keep peace in the family, you need patience, love, understanding, and at least two television sets.

6. Greedy man pays twice. Stupid man pays three time more. Loch pays all his life.

7. Women do not pay attention to handsom men, only to men accompanied by beautiful women.

8. Fairy tales are terrible stories with a purpose of carefully preparing our children for reading newspapers and watching television news.

9. Is there any other country whereby an alcohol is stored in armored safes, and the “nuclear button” in a plastic suitcase?

10. Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.

11. Life, of course, failed, but everything else was fine.

12. If relatives or friends do not call you for a long time, it means that they are all right.

13. Sorry, I was talking when you’re interrupting me.

14. Gifts for the 23-rd of February (Day of Russian Army)  is an investment towards the gifts for the 8-th of March (International Women Day).

15. When you combine your dark past with a bright future you will bring yourslef to the gray presence.

16. Russia is resilient country: any prediction for its future will eventually turns out to be optimistic.

17. The less cloth any woman is going to put on, the longer it would take her to undress.

18. Stupid people are getting married with women, smart people are married with men.

19. Decent person can easily identified by how awkwardly he does meanness.

20. The man who is admitting his mistake, when he is wrong, is a wise man. The man who is admitting a mistake, when he is right, is a married man.

21. “Image is nothing, thirst is all!” - Justified Brother Ivanushka nervously clattering his hooves.

22. We are slowly harnessing a horse, we are driving fast, and we press brakes realy hard.

23. Modesty prettyfies a man, indiscretion beautifies a woman.

24. If you help a friend when he in trouble, he will definitelly remember you when gets into a trouble once again .

25. Once I was young and handsome, now I am just handsome.

26. There is no any such clear and bright ideas that Russian people could not articulate by dirty words.

27. No one like Russian did not damp down fish! (Around space station in the Pacific Ocean!).

28. It is not always great in places we’ve been away from, but where we have never been before!

29. Democracy with elements of dictatorship is the same as constipation with elements of diarrhea.

30. If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans for the future.

31. It’s not enough to know your own worth — you must still be in demand.

32. If a man never lies to a woman, then he doesn’t care about her feelings.

33. Instead of getting “joy doling telegrams”, it is better to recieve generosity of large money transfers.

34. If your wife suddenly gives you a new tie it means that she lost her attraction to a newly purchased mink coat.

35. Let wolves be fed and sheep remain intact, as well as eternal memory about the shepherd.

36. When there is not enough time, there is no time for a friendship – only for making love.

37. Milk is doubly ridiculous if taken after the cucumbers.

38. To force a woman to hurry is the same as trying to speed up your computer restart. The program must perform all necessary steps and other important things that always remain hidden from your observation.

39. Show me a man who has no problems, and I will find a scar from a brain injury.
40. Land in the illuminator! Land in the illuminator! And how, the hell, it gets there ?!…

41. If diapers are too tight in the front it means the childhood is over.

42. The best remedy against cockroaches is a dense beam of fast neutrons.

43. Life goes away so fast, as if it has no interest in us.

44. If you are calm, however, there are running and screaming people around, it means that there is something you don’t, probably, understand.

45. There is less and less that it is impossible to buy in a world, and there is more and more that is impossible to sell.

46. Let me go and have a nap before my bedtime.

47. Valuable advice: NEVER open a present right away – wait until the guests left. If you unrap it in front of the guests, then none of those presents can be given to these people. 

48. It is better to keep quiet and looks like a fool than open your mouth and dispel everyone’s doubts.

49. The girl was eighteen summers and thirty winters old.

50. Educated man makes no comments to a woman carrying a heavy lumber.

51. If every year they say you’ve changed for the better, you start to think: ” What I was in the first place?”

52. Everyone has been thinking to the extent of their immorality, howver, all thoughts have bee about the same subject.

53. Somehow, in every unhappy family a male is always a pervert and female is a fool.

54. Human life has been consumated once, usually, at the most inopportune moment.

55. “I love traveling, visiting new cities, countries, meet new people.” Genghis Khan.

56. Some people believe that they think, while they just rearrange their prejudices.

57. To help or not to get involved?

58. A real woman have to cut down a tree, destroy a house and raise a daughter.

59. There are people with God in their heart. There are people with the devil inside. And there are people with only worms.

60. A sponsor is a person who can easily loose his money than trying to explain where those money came from.
61. There is something to recall, unfortunately, there is nothing to tell the children.
62. There is no insuperable difficulties for us, there is only difficulties to overcomeour laziness.
63. Any good thought, wherever it comes from, is much better than our own but stupid one. (Lamotte-Levaye)

Filed under Humorous Phrases & Meaning.
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Aphorisms in Italian

7 February 2010, 4:03 pm

 

PAROLE FRASI (In blu le parole
cliccabili)
ABATE 1 Le disgrazie sono la salsa di questa pessima pietanza che è la vita. (Abate Galiani)
2 Nessuno ardisca dare o ricevere qualcosa senza il permesso dell’abate, né avere alcunché di proprio, assolutamente nulla, dato che i monaci non sono ormai più padroni né del loro corpo né della loro volontà. (Regola di S. Benedetto)
ABBAIARE 1 L’uomo è un essere che fa rumore, cattiva musica e lascia abbaiare il cane. Solo qualche rara volta sta zitto, ma allora è morto (Kurt Tucholsky)
2 La gelosia è un abbaiare di cani che attira i ladri. (Karl Kraus)
3 Un mio amico ha un ottimo cane da guardia. A ogni rumore sospetto, lui sveglia il cane e il cane comincia ad abbaiare (Renato Pozzetto)
ABBANDONATO 1 Come è dolce aver estenuato e abbandonato le passioni! (Seneca)
2 L’uomo che si affanna per aumentare il patrimonio, ne viene schiacciato, è un vinto, che ha abbandonato le armi sul campo dell’onore. (Orazio)
3 Le ricchezze moltiplicano gli amici, ma il povero è abbandonato anche dall’amico che ha. (Salomone)
4 Noi siamo il solo animale abbandonato nudo sulla terra nuda, legato, incatenato, senza aver nulla di cui armarsi e proteggersi se non le spoglie degli altri. (Michel de Montaigne)
5 Se Dio non ti ha abbandonato nel passato, come potrà abbandonarti per l’avvenire. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
ABBASTANZA 1 A meno che un uomo non senta di avere una memoria abbastanza buona, è meglio che non s’arrischi mai a mentire. (Michel de Montaigne)
2 A questo mondo bisogna essere un po’ troppo buoni, per esserlo abbastanza. (Pierre de Marivaux)
3 Chiudete i ruscelli, o fanciulli, i prati hanno bevuto abbastanza. (Virgilio)
4 Chiunque ha degli antenati; il solo problema è andare abbastanza indietro nel tempo per trovarne uno buono. (Howard Kenneth Nixon)
5 E’ meglio non riflettere affatto che non riflettere abbastanza (Tristan Bernard)
6 Ho vissuto abbastanza; ora, sazio, aspetto la morte. (Seneca)
7 Il piacere è qualità poco ambiziosa: esso si stima abbastanza ricco per sé stesso senza mescolarvi il prezzo della reputazione, e si preferisce all’ombra. (Michel de Montaigne)
8 La mia biblioteca era per me un ducato grande abbastanza. (William Shakespeare)
9 Nessuno sa abbastanza, ed abbastanza presto (E. Pound)
10 Nessuno è abbastanza difeso contro i potenti. (Fedro)
11 Non dobbiamo cercare di vivere a lungo, ma di vivere abbastanza; vivere a lungo dipende dal destino, dalla nostra anima vivere quanto basta. (Seneca)
12 Non potrò mai dire abbastanza quanto io stimi la bellezza qualità possente e utile. Egli [Socrate] la chiamava una piccola tirannia, e Platone privilegio di natura. (Michel de Montaigne)
13 Non si calunnia mai abbastanza (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais)
14 Non è mai poco quello che è abbastanza (Seneca)
15 Si può bere troppo, ma non si beve mai abbastanza. (Gotthold Ephraim Lessing)
16 Siamo abbastanza forti per sopportare le disgrazie altrui. (François de La Rochefoucauld)
17 Una monetina può nascondere la stella più grande, se la tieni abbastanza vicina all’occhio. (Samuel Grafton)
ABBI 1 Abbi ben chiara la cosa da dire: le parole verranno. (Catone il Censore)
2 Abbi dolcezza verso il prossimo e umiltà verso Dio. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
ABBIA 1 Chi ti dà una serpe quando chiedi un pesce, può darsi abbia solo serpi da dare. La sua, dunque, è generosità. (Kahlil Gibran)
2 Da Adamo in poi, non c’è stata malefatta nella quale una donna non abbia avuto lo zampino. (William Makepeace Thackeray)
3 L’amore è come la febbre. Nasce e si spegne senza che la volontà vi abbia la minima parte (Stendhal)
4 L’unica ragione che abbia un romanzo di esistere è che cerca di rappresentare la vita. (Henry James)
5 L’uomo d’azione è l’unica persona che abbia più illusioni del sognatore. (Oscar Wilde)
6 La ragione e il torto non si dividono mai con un taglio così netto che ogni parte abbia soltanto dell’uno e del l’altra (Alessandro Manzoni)
7 Non aspirare a ciò che non ti è stato dato, affinché la tua speranza delusa non abbia motivo di lamentarsi. (Fedro)
8 Non c’è belva tanto feroce che non abbia un briciolo di pietà. Ma io non ne ho alcuno, quindi non sono una belva. (Shakespeare)
9 Non c’è niente di inutile in natura; neppure la stessa inutilità; niente s’è intromesso in questo universo che non abbia posto adatto. (Michel de Montaigne)
10 Non leggere mai un libro che abbia meno di un anno. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
11 Non è che io abbia paura di morire, è solo che non voglio esserci quando succederà. (Woody Allen)
12 Non è detto che la maggioranza abbia sempre torto. (Ivy Compton Burnett)
13 Non è necessario che abbia molto da dire chi può comandare con un gesto. (Stanislaw J. Lec)
14 Per il companatico degli schiavi si abbia cura di conservare le olive cadute dall’albero e quelle raccolte, che rendono poco olio; e si badi che durino a lungo. (Catone)
15 Se il diavolo non esiste, ma l’ha creato l’uomo, credo che egli l’abbia creato a propria immagine e somiglianza. (Fëdor Dostoevskij)
16 Soltanto le persone che evitano di suscitare la gelosia meritano che se ne abbia per loro. (François de La Rochefoucauld)
17 Tu chiedi quali progressi abbia fatto? Ho cominciato ad essere amico di me stesso. (Ecatone)
18 Vi è qualcosa di depravato in ogni uomo che non abbia voglia di violare i dieci comandamenti. (Gilbert Keith Chesterton)
ABBIAMO 1 Che differenza c’è se ci cade addosso il casotto delle sentinelle o un monte? Nessuna. Eppure c’è chi teme di più quest‘ultima evenienza, sebbene entrambe siano ugualmente mortali: abbiamo più paura delle cause che degli effetti. (Seneca)
2 Ci vogliamo tanto bene perché abbiamo le stesse malattie. (Jonathan Swift)
3 Confessiamo i piccoli difetti solo per far credere che non ne abbiamo di più grandi (F. de la Rochefoucauld)
4 La noia è uno dei mali più gravi che abbiamo da sopportare. (Marcel Proust)
5 La nostra sola giustificazione, se ne abbiamo una, è di parlare in nome di tutti coloro che non possono farlo. (Albert Camus)
6 Nei libri che ricordiamo c’è tutta la sostanza di quelli che abbiamo dimenticato. (Elias Canetti)
7 Noi abbiamo creduto che Giove regnava in cielo, quando l’abbiamo sentito tuonare. (Orazio)
8 Noi abbiamo più buon senso quando le cose vanno male: quando vanno a gonfie vele, ci tolgono la capacità di intendere. (Seneca)
9 Noi effettuiamo per comitato le cose che non abbiamo il coraggio di fare da soli. (Frank Moore Colby)
10 Nulla è più pericoloso di un’idea, quando è l’unica che abbiamo. (Alain)
11 Oggi la critica è l’arte di cui abbiamo più bisogno. (William Gaddis)
12 Quando abbiamo di che mangiare e di che coprirci, contentiamoci di questo. (S. Paolo)
13 Quando ci sembra che si avvicini un pericolo di morte, consideriamo quanto ci sono vicini altri pericoli di cui non abbiamo paura. (Seneca)
14 Quando non abbiamo cose di maggiore importanza, giochiamo con la penna. (Fedro)
15 Se nel corso di un solo giorno abbiamo due o più esperienze adatte a provocare un sogno, questo farà riferimento ad un tutto unico; esso è costretto a farne un’unità. (S. Freud)
16 Tutti abbiamo dei desideri che preferiremmo non svelare ad altre persone e desideri che non ammettiamo nemmeno di fronte a noi stessi. (S. Freud)
17 Tutti quanti abbiamo provato, ritrovando degli amici, l’incanto dei brutti ricordi. (Antoine de Saint Exupéry)
ABBIANO 1 Fanno più disastri gli scienziati di quanti ne abbiano combinati gli ignoranti. (Giovanni Arpino)
2 Mi abbiano in odio, purché mi temano. (Cicerone)
3 Se un servo avrà osato unire a sé in matrimonio una donna o una fanciulla libera, incorrerà nella pena di morte. Nei riguardi di quella, che fu consenziente al servo, i parenti abbiano la potestà di ucciderla o venderla e di fare quel che vogliono delle cose di lei. (Editto di Rotari)
4 Voglio uomini che abbiano la volontà e il coraggio di camminare sulle orme degli apostoli. (E. de Mazenod)
ABBRACCIA 1 Disprezza le tentazioni ed abbraccia le tribolazioni. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
2 La passione amorosa presta bellezze e grazie all’oggetto che abbraccia, e fa che coloro i quali ne sono presi trovino, con un giudizio offuscato e alterato, ciò che amano, diverso e più perfetto che non sia. (Michel de Montaigne)
ABBRACCIO 1 I piaceri del palato sono simili ai ladri egiziani, che strangolano con un abbraccio. (Seneca)
2 Io stimo tutti gli uomini come miei compatrioti, e abbraccio un Polacco come un Francese, posponendo questo legame nazionale a quello universale e comune. (Michel de Montaigne)
ABILE 1 Ci sono occasioni nella vita in cui la verità e la semplicità sono il più abile maneggio. (Jean de La Bruyère)
2 Io vi ascolto, vecchi amici; è un pezzo che mi dite: “Metti un catenaccio! Impediscile di uscire“. Ma chi mi custodirà i custodi? Mia moglie è abile e comincia proprio da quelli. (Giovenale)
3 L’agricoltore non è né più né meno che un uomo abile con un senso dell’humus. (E. B. White)
ABILI 1 L’onestà, che ai mediocri impedisce di raggiungere i loro fini, per gli abili è un mezzo di più per riuscire. (Luc de Clapiers Vauvenargues)
2 Venti e onde sono sempre dalla parte dei navigatori più abili. (Edward Gibbon)
ABITO 1 Lo stile è l’abito dei pensieri, e un pensiero ben vestito come un uomo ben vestito, si presenta molto meglio (Lord Chesterfield)
2 Parere non è essere, ma per essere bisogna anche parere. Nulla contribuisce tanto a fare il monaco quanto l’abito. (Ugo Bernasconi)
ABITUARTI 1 Fai ogni giorno qualcosa che non ti piace: questa è la regola d’oro per abituarti a fare il tuo dovere senza fatica. (Mark Twain)
2 Non abituarti a considerare i debiti soltanto un inconveniente: li scoprirai una calamità. (Samuel Johnson)
ABITUATA 1 La vostra lingua vi fa dire le parole a cui l’avete abituata (Hazrat Ali)
2 Ogni uomo la cui libido, come risultato di pratiche sessuali masturbatorie o perverse, si sia abituata alle situazioni e alle condizioni di soddisfazione anormali, sviluppa nel matrimonio minore potenza. (S. Freud)
ABITUDINE 1 Ci si sbaglierà raramente, attribuendo le azioni estreme alla vanità, quelle mediocri all’abitudine e quelle meschine alla paura (Nietzsche)
2 Ecco una delle cause dei nostri mali: viviamo imitando il prossimo e non ci facciamo regolare dalla ragione, ma trascinare dall’abitudine. (Seneca)
3 L’abitudine è in tutte le cose il miglior maestro. (Plinio il Vecchio)
4 La lunga soggezione genera l’abitudine, l’abitudine il consenso e l’imitazione. (Michel de Montaigne)
ABITUDINI 1 Le ragioni dell’insuccesso consistono nel crearsi abitudini. (Walter Horatio Pater)
2 Niente ha bisogno di essere cambiato quanto le abitudini degli altri (Mark Twain)
3 Vi consiglio, nelle vostre opinioni e nei vostri ragionamenti, come nelle vostre abitudini e in ogni altra cosa, la moderazione e la temperanza, e il fuggire dalle novità e dalle cose fuori del comune. (Michel de Montaigne)
4 Và dalla formica, o pigro, guarda le sue abitudini e diventa saggio. (Salomone)
ABNEGAZIONE 1 L’abnegazione non è una virtù: è soltanto l’effetto della prudenza sulla furfanteria. (George Bernard Shaw)
2 L’abnegazione principale è quella che si esercita al focolare domestico. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
3 Sopporta con maggiore abnegazione le croci che Dio ti manda. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
ABOLIRE 1 Per abolire la prostituzione bisognerebbe abolire gli uomini. (Maria Teresa d’Austria)
ABRAHAM 1 Il tatto è la capacità di descrivere gli altri come loro stessi si vedono. (Abraham Lincoln)
2 La democrazia è il governo del popolo, dal popolo, per il popolo. (Abraham Lincoln)
3 La religione di un uomo non vale molto se non ne traggono beneficio anche il suo cane e il suo gatto (Abraham Lincoln)
4 Nessuno è in grado di governare un altro senza il suo consenso. (Abraham Lincoln)
ABUSO 1 Nessuna confessione religiosa ha tanto peccato per abuso di espressioni metafisiche quanto la matematica. (Ludwig Joseph Wittgenstein)
2 Quanto più grande è il potere tanto più pericoloso è l’abuso (Edmund Burice)
ACCADE 1 Il matrimonio – Accade quello che si vede nelle gabbie: gli uccelli che ne sono fuori si disperano per entrarvi; e con lo stesso impegno di uscirne quelli che ne son dentro. (Michel de Montaigne)
2 La vita è quella cosa che ci accade mentre siamo occupati in altri progetti (Anthony De Mello)
3 Quel che non si spera accade più spesso di quel che si spera. (Plauto)
4 Quello che ci aspettiamo a volte accade; quello che non ci aspettiamo accade spesso. (Benjamin Denjamin)
ACCADESSE 1 Il futuro che ci mostra il sogno non è quello che accadrà, ma quello che vorremmo accadesse. La mente popolare si comporta qui come fa generalmente: crede in ciò che desidera. (S. Freud)
2 Le spugne crescono nel mare. Mi chiedo quanto più profondo sarebbe il mare se questo non accadesse. (Steven Wright)
ACCANTO 1 Le persone viaggiano per stupirsi delle montagne, dei mari, dei fiumi, delle stelle; e passano accanto a se’ stessi senza meravigliarsi. (Sant‘Agostino)
2 Se tutti gli economisti fossero stesi uno accanto all’altro, non raggiungerebbero una conclusione. (George Bernard Shaw)
ACCETTA 1 Accetta di buon grado le cose nell’aspetto e nel gusto in cui ti si presentano, giorno per giorno; il rimanente è fuori della tua conoscenza. (Michel de Montaigne)
2 Accetta ogni dolore e incomprensione per amore di Gesù. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
3 Ad un albero caduto accetta! accetta! (G. Verga)
4 Chi non accetta consiglio non può essere aiutato. (Benjamin Franklin)
5 L’assennato accetta i comandi, il linguacciuto va in rovina. (Salomone)
6 L’iniquo accetta regali di sotto il mantello per deviare il corso della giustizia. (Salomone)
ACCETTARE 1 Accettare la civiltà quale essa è significa praticamente accettare la decadenza. (George Orwell)
2 Come il donare è qualità ambiziosa e di privilegio, così l’accettare è caratteristica di sottomissione. (Michel de Montaigne)
3 La prima regola è stata di non accettare una cosa per vera finché non la riconoscessi per tale senza neppure un dubbio. (René Descartes)
4 Ricordiamo il vecchio adagio: se vuoi il mantenimento della pace sii sempre disposto alla guerra. Sarebbe ora di modificare questo adagio e di dire: se vuoi sopportare la vita, impara ad accettare la morte. (S. Freud)
ACCETTATA 1 E’ nobile cosa la povertà accettata con gioia. (Epicuro)
2 L’essere tentati è segno evidente che l’anima è ben accettata dal Signore. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
ACCOGLIE 1 Chi accoglie anche uno solo di questi bambini in nome mio, accoglie me. Chi invece scandalizza anche uno solo di questi piccoli che credono in me, sarebbe meglio per lui che gli fosse appesa al collo una macina girata da asino, e fosse gettato negli abissi del mare. (Gesù)
2 Chi accoglie un beneficio con animo grato paga la prima rata del suo debito. (Seneca)
3 Si può capire il carattere di una persona dal modo in cui accoglie le lodi (Seneca)
ACCOMPAGNA 1 Molto dolore s’accompagna a una grande sapienza, perciò chi acquista la sapienza aumenta le proprie pene. (18 Ecclesiaste 1)
2 Ricordati di spogliare gli avvenimenti dal tumulto che li accompagna e di considerarli nella loro essenza: capirai che in essi non c’è niente di terribile se non la nostra paura. (Seneca)
ACCORDO 1 Bisogna cambiare spesso opinione per essere d’accordo con il partito. (Cardinale di Retz)
2 L’arte migliore è quella in cui la mano, la testa e il cuore di un uomo procedono in accordo. (John Ruskin)
3 La democrazia è un piccolo nucleo basato sul comune accordo, circondato da una vasta gamma di differenze (James Bryant Conant)
4 Le donne tendono sempre a non essere d’accordo coi loro mariti. (Michel de Montaigne)
5 Libri e matrimonio non vanno d’accordo. (Molière)
6 Non astenetevi tra voi se non di comune accordo e temporaneamente, per dedicarvi alla preghiera, e poi ritornate a stare insieme, perché Satana non vi tenti nei momenti di passione. (S. Paolo)
ACCORGI 1 La felicità è come la salute: se non te ne accorgi vuol dire che c’è. (Ivan Sergeevic Turgenev)
2 Perché osservi la pagliuzza nell’occhio del tuo fratello, mentre non ti accorgi della trave che hai nel tuo occhio? O come potrai dire al tuo fratello: permetti che tolga la pagliuzza dal tuo occhio, mentre nell’occhio tuo c’è la trave? Ipocrita, togli prima la trave dal tuo occhio e poi ci vedrai bene per togliere la pagliuzza dall’occhio del tuo fratello. (Gesù)
ACCORRE 1 Colui che vede per strada un uomo alle prese con un assassino e, potendo, non accorre in suo aiuto, è punito di morte. (Antica legge egiziana)
2 Penso tra me e me quanti sono gli uomini che esercitano il corpo e quanto pochi quelli che esercitano la mente; quanta gente accorre a un passatempo inconsistente e vano, e che deserto intorno alle scienze; che animo debole hanno quegli atleti di cui ammiriamo i muscoli e le spalle. (Seneca)
ACETO 1 Come l’aceto ai denti e il fumo agli occhi così è il pigro per chi gli affida una missione. (Salomone)
2 Dubbio angoscioso – La giardiniera è sott‘olio o sott‘aceto? (Anonimo)
3 L’aceto è figlio del vino. (Talmud)
ACHILLE 1 Critici si nasce, artisti si diventa, pubblico si muore (Achille Bonito Oliva)
2 L’unico punto vulnerabile nel corpo di Achille fu quello per cui l’aveva tenuto sua madre (Henri de Montherlant)
3 Le donne ci piacciono perché sono meravigliose, o ci sembrano meravigliose perché ci piacciono. (Achille Campanile)
4 Mi spezzo ma non m’impiego. (Achille Campanile)
5 Non c’è alcun rapporto fra gli asparagi e l’immortalità dell’anima. (Achille Campanile)
ACQUA 1 Chi cade nell’acqua è forza che si bagni. (G. Verga)
2 Come acqua mi vado spandendo, si sono slogate tutte le mie ossa; il mio cuore è come cera, si liquefa dentro il mio petto. (14 Salmi 22)
3 I vicini devono fare come le tegole del tetto, a darsi l’acqua l’un l’altro. (G. Verga)
4 L’acqua che tocchi de’ fiumi è l’ultima di quelle che andò e la prima di quella che viene. Così il tempo presente. (Leonardo da Vinci)
5 L’uva è rigonfia d’acqua, flagellata da continui acquazzoni; oste, ammesso che tu ne avessi voglia, non puoi vendere quest‘anno il vino puro. (Marziale)
6 La gloria è simile a un cerchio d’acqua che non smette mai di allargarsi, fino a che si disperde in un nulla. (William Shakespeare)
7 La ricchezza somiglia all’acqua di mare: quanto più se ne beve, tanto più si ha sete. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
8 La terra è un elemento posto al centro dell’universo: ha infatti una posizione non dissimile da quella che il tuorlo ha nell’uovo: intorno ad essa vi sono l’acqua e l’aria, come intorno al tuorlo c’è l’albume e la membrana che lo rinchiude. All’esterno, a contenere il tutto, c’è il fuoco come all’esterno dell’uovo c’è il guscio. (Beda)
9 Ma ciò che dice una donna all’amante appassionato, scrivilo nel vento e nell’acqua rapida (Catullo)
10 Non bere più acqua soltanto, ma usa un po’ di vino a causa del tuo stomaco e delle tue frequenti indisposizioni. (23 Timoteo (I libro) 5)
11 Per aver successo bisogna aggiungere acqua al proprio vino, finché non c’è più vino. (Jules Renard)
12 Qual acqua fresca a chi arde di sete è la buona notizia che vien da lontano. (25 Proverbi 25)
13 Se guardiamo un pezzo di legno perfettamente diritto, immerso nell’acqua, ci sembra curvo e spezzato. Non ha importanza che cosa guardi, ma come guardi: la nostra mente si ottenebra nello scrutare la verità. (Seneca)
14 Tu osservi in un bassorilievo dei pesci, illustre opera di Fidia. Sommergili nell’acqua: nuoteranno. (Marziale)
15 Tutte le scoperte della medicina si possono ricondurre alla breve formula : “l’acqua, bevuta moderatamente, non è nociva” (Mark Twain)
16 Tutti i malvagi sono bevitori di acqua, e lo dimostra il diluvio (Louis-Philippe conte di Sègur)
17 Una persona annega in alto mare, una annega in un bicchier d’acqua. Ma entrambi muoiono. (S. Pio da Pietrelcina)
ACQUE 1 Come acque profonde sono i consigli nel cuore umano, l’uomo accorto le sa attingere. (Salomone)
2 Un’inquietudine impotente ci tormenta, e andiamo per acque e terre inseguendo la felicità. Ma ciò che insegui è qui, se non ti manca la ragione. (Orazio)
ACQUISTA 1 Assai acquista chi perdendo impara. (Michelangelo Buonarroti)
2 Chi acquista la scienza, acquista travaglio e tormento. (Michel de Montaigne)
3 Molto dolore s’accompagna a una grande sapienza, perciò chi acquista la sapienza aumenta le proprie pene. (18 Ecclesiaste 1)
ADAGIO 1 Chi non trascura il soldo e il quattrino, adagio adagio arriva allo zecchino. (Filippo Pananti)
2 Ricordiamo il vecchio adagio: se vuoi il mantenimento della pace sii sempre disposto alla guerra. Sarebbe ora di modificare questo adagio e di dire: se vuoi sopportare la vita, impara ad accettare la morte. (S. Freud)
ADAMS 1 La moralità è un lusso privato e costoso. (Henry Brooks Adams)
2 Nessuno arriva in paradiso con gli occhi asciutti. (Thomas Adams)
ADATTA 1 Chi non si adatta alla gentilezza, per lo più paga il fio della propria superbia. (Fedro)
2 Chi si adatta bene alla povertà è ricco. (Seneca)
ADATTANO 1 Le grandi cause male s’adattano ai piccoli uomini. (Javaharlal Nehru)
2 Non potendo regolare gli avvenimenti, regolo me stesso, e mi adatto ad essi, se essi non si adattano a me. (Michel de Montaigne)
ADATTE 1 Non è che sono contrario al matrimonio; però mi pare che un uomo e una donna siano le persone meno adatte a sposarsi. (Massimo Troisi)
2 Se nel corso di un solo giorno abbiamo due o più esperienze adatte a provocare un sogno, questo farà riferimento ad un tutto unico; esso è costretto a farne un’unità. (S. Freud)
ADATTI 1 Colui che offre al proprio cane cibi non adatti o troppo caldi, sia punito con cento sferzate. (Artaserse)
2 Gli schiavi e gli animali domestici sono quasi uguali e rendono su per giù gli stessi servizi. La natura stessa vuole la schiavitù, perché fa differenti i corpi degli uomini liberi da quelli degli schiavi: gli schiavi col vigore che richiedono i lavori a cui sono predestinati, gli uomini liberi incapaci di curvare la loro diritta statura a opere servili e adatti, invece, alla vita politica e alle occupazioni guerresche o pacifiche. Dunque gli uomini sono liberi o schiavi per diritto di natura: la cosa è evidente. Utile agli stessi schiavi, la schiavitù è giusta. (Aristotele)
3 Io trovo che gli spiriti elevati non sono affatto meno adatti alle cose basse quanto gli spiriti bassi non lo siano a quelle elevate. (Michel de Montaigne)
4 Non posso e non voglio tagliare la mia coscienza perché si adatti alla moda di quest‘anno. (Lillian Hellman)
ADATTO 1 Nessuno è adatto ad essere investito del potere. (Charles Percy Snow)
2 Non c’è niente di inutile in natura; neppure la stessa inutilità; niente s’è intromesso in questo universo che non abbia posto adatto. (Michel de Montaigne)
3 Non potendo regolare gli avvenimenti, regolo me stesso, e mi adatto ad essi, se essi non si adattano a me. (Michel de Montaigne)
4 Se ci fosse un popolo di dei, si governerebbe democraticamente. Un governo così perfetto non è adatto agli uomini. (Jean Jacques Rousseau)
5 Se un uomo non ha scoperto nulla per cui vorrebbe morire, non è adatto a vivere. (Martin Luther King)
ADDICE 1 I modi e il carattere propri ad un uomo sono quel che più gli si addice. (Marco Tullio Cicerone)
2 Il piccolo si addice ai piccoli. (Orazio)
ADDIRITTURA 1 A me bastano poche persone, anzi una sola o addirittura nessuna. (Seneca)
2 Solo i credenti, che pretendono che la scienza diventi il surrogato del catechismo a cui hanno rinunciato, possono biasimare il ricercatore che perfeziona o addirittura modifica le sue concezioni. (S. Freud)
ADDISON 1 Chi è fornito di argomenti pecuniari convincerà il proprio antagonista molto prima di chi trae argomenti dalla ragione e dalla filosofia (Joseph Addison)
2 L’infelicità deve essere commisurata non tanto al male in sé, quanto al carattere di chi soffre. (Joseph Addison)
3 La lettura è per la mente quel che l’esercizio è per il corpo. (Joseph Addison)
4 Noi siamo sempre impegnati… a fare qualcosa per la Posterità, ma sarei felice di vedere la Posterità fare qualcosa per noi (Joseph Addison)
5 Se dobbiamo credere ai nostri logici, l’uomo si distingue da tutte le altre creature per la facoltà di ridere (Joseph Addison)
6 Umore instabile ed incoerenza sono le maggiori debolezze della natura umana. (Joseph Addison)
ADDORMENTA 1 Chi russa si addormenta per primo. (Arthur Bloch)
2 Qualche volta s’addormenta anche il buon Omero. (Orazio)
ADDOSSO 1 Ad ogni sorpresa siamo preparati. Solo le cose quotidiane ci cascano addosso come calamità naturali. (Stanislaw J. Lec)
2 Che differenza c’è se ci cade addosso il casotto delle sentinelle o un monte? Nessuna. Eppure c’è chi teme di più quest‘ultima evenienza, sebbene entrambe siano ugualmente mortali: abbiamo più paura delle cause che degli effetti. (Seneca)
3 Oggi il consumatore è la vittima del produttore, che gli rovescia addosso una massa di prodotti ai quali deve trovar posto nella sua anima (Mary McCarthy)
4 Piangere un guaio ch’è ormai passato è il modo migliore per tirarsene addosso un altro. (William Shakespeare)

Aforismi e Citazioni

2003

Filed under Aphorisms in Italian.
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Words of Wizdom

30 January 2010, 7:13 pm

YOU MUST READ THIS!

Three things never come back:

Time, word, opportunity.

Three things should not be lost:
Peace, hope and honor.

Three things in life are most valuable:
Love, belief, friendship.

Three things in life never reliable:
Power, luck, fortune.

Three things define the man:
The work, honesty, and achievement.

Three things destroy the man:
Wine, pride, anger. 
 
But for sometimes to understand it all may take a lifetime.
_______________________________________________________________ 
One

Give people more than they expect and do it with joy.

Two
Marry someone whom you always have something to talk about.
When you get older, his / her ability to communicate is as important as everything else.

THREE
Do not believe i neverything you hear, give others everything you have and sleep well.
  
FOUR
If you say ‘I love you’, mean it!
 
FIVE

If you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look in the person’s eyes.

SIX
Be engaged for at least six months before marriage.
  
SEVEN
Believe in love at first sight.
  
EIGHT
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
People who do not have dreams do not have much.
  
NINE
Love deeply and passionately. Perhaps your heart will be broken, but it is the only way to live life completely.
  
TEN
In disagreements, argue fairly.
Do not allow insults.

ELEVEN
Do not judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE
Talk slowly but think quickly.
  
THIRTEEN
If you have been asked a question that you do not want to answer, smile and ask: ‘Why do you want to know? ”
  
FOURTEEN
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
 
FIFTEEN
Say “Bless you!” when you hear someone sneeze.
 
SIXTEEN

If you lose, take a lesson.
 
SEVENTEEN
Remember the three important things:
Self-dignity
Respect for others

Responsibility for all your actions. 
  
EIGHTEEN

Do not let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Nineteen
If you disocovered that you make a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
 
TWENTY

Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.
 
TWENTY ONE
Spend time with yourself.

Filed under Phrases, Words of Wizdom.
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Blonds Sayings

29 January 2010, 6:03 pm
  1. Angelina is my friend, but such a fool the world has not seen. First, she’d go with the guy, and then asked me to find out his name. And I too have to sleep with him to learn his name.
  2. We sat all night in the gazebo and worked all night whether pupping, or spinning. In general, his penis was in my hands.
  3. My preference is a man who is: very slim, walking silently as an Indian or some other animal.
  4. My husband went into business not only with the head, but with everything else that is designed for family life.
  5. My husband bought me shoes, a very crude imitation of “Salamander”. They are so heavy that he is treating ear for almost two weeks .
  6. Last weekend he went out saiing that to get some bread, but returned two days later. And he was laughing: he said that the line was too long.
  7. I bought for my husband drug, which increases his sensitivity by 5 centimeters, but, obviously, the shelf life of the drug has expired.
  8. I live far away  and Lenny took me home. Lying in bed with him, I began to think that we went too far.
  9. I cry all the time: during orgasm, and just from joy. I was so relaxed, as if the chain failed.
  10. I went over to Ivan in full confidence that will be nothing between us there , however, I feel that not every part of my body thinks so.
  11. When Eugine learned about my unfaithfulness, he beat me hard. But he still called an ambulance, which means that he still loves me.
  12. I get undressed and give him myself without even saying a word, because it will take time to find such a looser.
  13. You can get a lot of fun when find yourself in bed with another man. For example, when he falls asleep, you can write something with marker on his intimate part. Imagine, how his wife would be glad!
  14. My hand was between his legs, but, unfortunately, he had nothing to make me happy.
  15. When we sat down at the table, I found myself between the two Valeris. They told me that I should make a wish. I did, but nothing fulfilled my wish, only theirs.
  16. I do suspect that the climax – a reward for my hard work in bed.
  17. When I first saw Valentine I just realized that our relationship with Igor crept disharmony.
  18. In short, it was such a listening to a CD, that you need to follow it by widely-open eyes and run around looking for money for an abortion.
  19. But really, I was worried when the periods did not come three times in a row.
  20. I was so horny for sex! It was even hard to see how a steam hammer nailed the soil piles …
  21. I like all his masculine things, especially, his BMW and his cottage.
  22. I do not know why men avoid my side, when I have two main qualities – I am beautiful and stupid …
  23. I saw a letter from a psycho in your newspaper and I also decided to write you a letter. “Am I worse than him”?
  24. How smart should be the wife if her husband has no doubt how stupid she is?
  25. What is a woman? — It’s a mixture of a pure weekness with an evil force.
  26. (Deleted)
  27. With the money a man feels like a man… and a woman too.
  28. So why should I start looking for my “half”? To become one and a half?
  29. (Deleted)
  30. E-mail from a resort: “Honey, you’re the best, and I am not get tired in proving it.”
  31. Today my cat woke up on a winter saving time. “How should I adjust her time setting”? ” With shoe”.
  32. Woman loves with her ears, man - with his eyes, the dog - with his nose, and only the rabbit - with what it should be.
  33. (Deleted)
  34. The man is such a bastard that only a woman could be worse.
  35. (Deleted)
  36. As soon as you find your half, other halfs begin surrounding you and making you doubt.
  37. I spelled the word ‘toilet’ backwards before; and now I am afraid to sit on it.
  38. It is no matter how you count goats and sheep in order to fall asleep – if one of them is close to you and snoring – you wan’t be able to…
Filed under Blonds Sayings, Jokes.
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