• Man’s snoring has been designed by nature to ensure that a woman is not too upset when her husband hasn’t come home tonight.
• It is unclear why men try so hard to acquire hand and heart of a woman they hardly use afterwords.
• If a man can  observe naked woman from an animate object, then he the artist.
• If a man can observe an inanimate object from a naked woman, then he is her husband.
• All men are buying into the fact that not all women are for sale.
• Man is trying to bring a woman onto a pedestal as high as possible to take a look what is under her skirt. 
• Malvina’s history  has proven again that a woman could easily fall in love with a man with a wooden head, but possessing the Golden Key.
• Woman is always ready to share with the man his share, especially if her share is large enough.
• Give a woman unlimited freedom and she will immediately reduce your.
• Women’s ideal man is quite simple: he whould have a desire for undressing her and be capable of dressing her as well.
• Few women know what they want, but even they usually don’t know why.
• A woman can forgive a man everything… but his stupidity in how lucky he is because of her.
• Woman gets upset by man in two instances: when he look at her only as an enemy, and when he looks at her only as a friend.
• Woman inspires a man first, then rings him, and then pull down his wings.
• While answering a specific question woman says not what she was asked, but what  she  only wants to say.
• The hardest thing for a woman is block her ears when a man talks about expensive earrings he bought for her.
• Mastery of women is skillfully hide her harpoon as Amur’s arrow.
• Some women behave as if they were not made from the rib, but of the coccyx.
• It is equally hard for a woman to undertalk, as to be undersilent.
• Woman is a mystery that is covered with cloth.
• Woman is amazing creature that has a birthday, but doen’t have a date of birth.
• Woman manages to be unpredictable even in photos.
• More exciting than female logic can only be her underware.
• The geometry of  female body doesn’t require any proof.
• Nothing makes a woman more atractive as a stupid girlfriend.

Additional collection:

1. No person shall bring us to our knees! We have been laying there, and we will continue lie!

2. To love vodka, freebies, revolution, and be an asshole is not enough to call yourself Russian.

3. Please allow me to take a course where I will learn how to increase my salary.

4. The first who shake hand is the one who has weaker nerves.

5. To keep peace in the family, you need patience, love, understanding, and at least two television sets.

6. Greedy man pays twice. Stupid man pays three time more. Loch pays all his life.

7. Women do not pay attention to handsom men, only to men accompanied by beautiful women.

8. Fairy tales are terrible stories with a purpose of carefully preparing our children for reading newspapers and watching television news.

9. Is there any other country whereby an alcohol is stored in armored safes, and the “nuclear button” in a plastic suitcase?

10. Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.

11. Life, of course, failed, but everything else was fine.

12. If relatives or friends do not call you for a long time, it means that they are all right.

13. Sorry, I was talking when you’re interrupting me.

14. Gifts for the 23-rd of February (Day of Russian Army)  is an investment towards the gifts for the 8-th of March (International Women Day).

15. When you combine your dark past with a bright future you will bring yourslef to the gray presence.

16. Russia is resilient country: any prediction for its future will eventually turns out to be optimistic.

17. The less cloth any woman is going to put on, the longer it would take her to undress.

18. Stupid people are getting married with women, smart people are married with men.

19. Decent person can easily identified by how awkwardly he does meanness.

20. The man who is admitting his mistake, when he is wrong, is a wise man. The man who is admitting a mistake, when he is right, is a married man.

21. “Image is nothing, thirst is all!” - Justified Brother Ivanushka nervously clattering his hooves.

22. We are slowly harnessing a horse, we are driving fast, and we press brakes realy hard.

23. Modesty prettyfies a man, indiscretion beautifies a woman.

24. If you help a friend when he in trouble, he will definitelly remember you when gets into a trouble once again .

25. Once I was young and handsome, now I am just handsome.

26. There is no any such clear and bright ideas that Russian people could not articulate by dirty words.

27. No one like Russian did not damp down fish! (Around space station in the Pacific Ocean!).

28. It is not always great in places we’ve been away from, but where we have never been before!

29. Democracy with elements of dictatorship is the same as constipation with elements of diarrhea.

30. If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans for the future.

31. It’s not enough to know your own worth — you must still be in demand.

32. If a man never lies to a woman, then he doesn’t care about her feelings.

33. Instead of getting “joy doling telegrams”, it is better to recieve generosity of large money transfers.

34. If your wife suddenly gives you a new tie it means that she lost her attraction to a newly purchased mink coat.

35. Let wolves be fed and sheep remain intact, as well as eternal memory about the shepherd.

36. When there is not enough time, there is no time for a friendship – only for making love.

37. Milk is doubly ridiculous if taken after the cucumbers.

38. To force a woman to hurry is the same as trying to speed up your computer restart. The program must perform all necessary steps and other important things that always remain hidden from your observation.

39. Show me a man who has no problems, and I will find a scar from a brain injury.
40. Land in the illuminator! Land in the illuminator! And how, the hell, it gets there ?!…

41. If diapers are too tight in the front it means the childhood is over.

42. The best remedy against cockroaches is a dense beam of fast neutrons.

43. Life goes away so fast, as if it has no interest in us.

44. If you are calm, however, there are running and screaming people around, it means that there is something you don’t, probably, understand.

45. There is less and less that it is impossible to buy in a world, and there is more and more that is impossible to sell.

46. Let me go and have a nap before my bedtime.

47. Valuable advice: NEVER open a present right away – wait until the guests left. If you unrap it in front of the guests, then none of those presents can be given to these people. 

48. It is better to keep quiet and looks like a fool than open your mouth and dispel everyone’s doubts.

49. The girl was eighteen summers and thirty winters old.

50. Educated man makes no comments to a woman carrying a heavy lumber.

51. If every year they say you’ve changed for the better, you start to think: ” What I was in the first place?”

52. Everyone has been thinking to the extent of their immorality, howver, all thoughts have bee about the same subject.

53. Somehow, in every unhappy family a male is always a pervert and female is a fool.

54. Human life has been consumated once, usually, at the most inopportune moment.

55. “I love traveling, visiting new cities, countries, meet new people.” Genghis Khan.

56. Some people believe that they think, while they just rearrange their prejudices.

57. To help or not to get involved?

58. A real woman have to cut down a tree, destroy a house and raise a daughter.

59. There are people with God in their heart. There are people with the devil inside. And there are people with only worms.

60. A sponsor is a person who can easily loose his money than trying to explain where those money came from.
61. There is something to recall, unfortunately, there is nothing to tell the children.
62. There is no insuperable difficulties for us, there is only difficulties to overcomeour laziness.
63. Any good thought, wherever it comes from, is much better than our own but stupid one. (Lamotte-Levaye)